Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (2024)

Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (1)Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (2)Judith Gaughy

A woman whose mother gave birth to a stillborn child said she would have been moved to see a memorial unveiled at her church to babies who were buried in unmarked graves.

Before the mid-1980s stillborn babies or babies who died shortly after birth were taken away from families, who were then not involved in their burial.

St Cuthbert's in Durham has been raising money to remember them and is holding a dedication service on Sunday for the new space in the graveyard.

Judith Gaughy, 78, is a member of the congregation, and her sister Margaret was placed in an unmarked grave after she died in 1948. She eventually found the site, at a cemetery in Newcastle.

She said: "Mum never stopped grieving for Margaret, and would be so happy to see babies remembered in this way."

Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (3)Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (4)Judith Gaughy

"I always knew about Margaret, who was born in a nursing home in Newcastle, but we never really talked about it," she said.

"But after Mum died, Dad told me she always got upset in September at the anniversary of her birth.

"I asked Dad if they'd seen the baby but he said no they just took her away."

Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (5)Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (6)Lara Sparey

According to the charity Sands it was only in the mid-1980s that parents of stillborn babies and babies who died shortly after birth began to be consulted about funeral arrangements for their babies.

Before then, parents were not usually involved and many were not told what happened to their baby’s body, which was usually placed in an unmarked grave.

Mrs Gaughy's mother never knew where her daughter was buried but she did not forget her.

"She worshipped at St Cuthbert's in Durham and in 1985 the church made a little garden and plaque to babies in unmarked graves, and she was very involved in that," her daughter explained.

Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (7)Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (8)Barbara Gow

"So after my father died I wrote to Southport (where General Register Office is based) to try and find out what happened to Margaret and I got the birth certificate.

"I rang the bereavement service at Newcastle and they were wonderful and they knew where she was."

She had been buried on 6 October 1948 in an unmarked grave at Saint Nicholas's Cemetery in Newcastle with two adults and two other children.

"I went and put flowers on the spot and I got quite upset at the time because I just thought she should be with my parents in St Cuthbert's," Mrs Gaughy said.

Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (9)Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (10)Judith Gaughy

Although there has been a plaque for babies in St Cuthbert's since 1985, three years ago the church on North Road, began raising funds for a bigger place of remembrance.

"It all began because a number of women contacted us to explain that they had babies buried in the churchyard and asked us if we knew where they were," the Reverend Canon Caroline Dick explained.

It is estimated there are dozens of babies buried in its graveyard, but no records were kept of where or when.

"Sadly we couldn't help, we've combed the records but there's nothing," Ms Dick said.

"So we wanted to provide a place where they could come and remember the baby that had died," she added.

Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (11)Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (12)Lara Sparey

The memorial was designed by London-based artist Lara Sparey.

She said: "Twenty two years ago my son, Shay, died four days after he was born, and until recently I just wouldn't have been able to do this project but somehow I felt the time was right.

"It was a competition so I had to put a design forward but I think the fact I'd had a loss myself was very important to the church."

"The design includes a dove, snowdrops and sun rays so there's a bit of hope there, and I just want it to be a place where people can sit and remember that child," she added.

Mrs Gaughy will be doing just that.

"I often wonder what it would have been like to have had a sister," she said.

"It was incredible to think what they did back then, there must be so many women like my Mum who never saw their babies and never knew where they were."

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Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves (2024)

FAQs

Durham church holds service for babies buried in unmarked graves? ›

Before the mid-1980s stillborn babies or babies who died shortly after birth were taken away from families, who were then not involved in their burial. St Cuthbert's in Durham has been raising money to remember them and is holding a dedication service on Sunday for the new space in the graveyard.

Why would someone be buried in an unmarked grave? ›

As Alicia Hoyt reports: "Historically, financial limitations and social status were factors in whether a person (even a famous one) was awarded a big fancy marker. Mass, unmarked graves were also common in times of widespread disease or war; plus older markers simply deteriorated over time or were stolen.

Who gets buried in an unmarked grave? ›

Executed criminals used to be buried in unmarked graves as a form of disgrace. Today, it is more common for them to be cremated and their ashes scattered. 9. Famous celebrities are sometimes buried with unmarked graves so the family can avoid a multitude of visitors and have privacy when they go to the cemetery.

What does the Bible say about unmarked graves? ›

Woe to you! For you are like unmarked graves, and people walk over them without knowing it” (Luke 11:44). Jesus rebukes the Pharisees with what sounds like an odd insult.

What is it called to be buried without a coffin? ›

If you've ever wondered if you could be buried without a casket, the answer is both 'yes! ' and 'no! ' Being buried without a casket is called a natural burial.

Why is a grave 6ft deep? ›

An ancient practice of burying dead people six feet underground may have helped mask the odor of decay from predators. Similarly, random disturbances, such as plowing, would be unable to reach a person buried six feet underneath. Preventing the Spread of Disease was another major reason.

Who could not be buried in a national cemetery? ›

These family members aren't eligible: A former spouse who isn't also a Veteran whose marriage to an eligible Veteran or service member ended by annulment or divorce. Family members of a Veteran convicted of subversive activities (unless the Veteran receives a pardon from the President of the United States)

What happens to a body if no one can pay for a funeral? ›

You don't necessarily need to worry about what happens to your body if you can't afford a funeral. Signing a form at the county coroner can authorize the release of your body to the state or county for burial or cremation. It may be possible to pay a fee to recover your ashes if your family would like them.

Are unmarked graves common? ›

Unmarked graves are common in many cemeteries, especially cemeteries that are over one hundred years old. Cemetery unmarked grave records are often lost, vague, or incomplete. There is often no surface expression of the unmarked grave burial location.

Why is Booth buried in an unmarked grave? ›

As Booth was fleeing, he was shot and later died. Sensing that an exhibition of Booth's body might cause a riot, the government had it secretly buried at night in a grave in the yard of the Washington Penitentiary. the family plot. Night time graveside services were presided over by the Rev.

What does a nameless grave mean? ›

Longfellow's 'A Nameless Grave' mourns a soldier's ultimate sacrifice, lamenting the anonymity of war heroes.

What is a grave without a body called? ›

Cenotaph - a grave where the body is not present; a memorial erected as over a grave, but at a place where the body has not been interred. A cenotaph may look exactly like any other grave in terms of marker and inscription.

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